“I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”
“You never loved me, did you?”
“It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”
“I hope you’re happy.”
“If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”
“What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”
“Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”
“You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”
“I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”
“This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”
“I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”
“When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”
“You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”
“You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”
“I hope you got what you wanted.”
“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”
“When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”
“Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”
“If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”
“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”
“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”
“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”
“There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”
“Your mind must be a horrible place.”
“You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”
“How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”
“I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”
“Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”
“Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”
“Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”
“You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”
“Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”
“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”
“I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”
“If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”
“It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”
“I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”
“Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”
“You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”
“I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”
“Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”
“We should probably stop talking forever.”
“If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”
“To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”
“You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”
“This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”
“I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”
“I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”
“Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”
“Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”
“I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”
“Just get out. I- I don’t want you hear, just leave.”
“You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”
“I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”
“Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”
“This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”
“You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”
“Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”
“Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”
“Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”
“You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”
“My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”
“You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”
“Evil doesn’t come close.”
“Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”
“I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”
“Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”
“You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”
“No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”
“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”
“This is always how it ends.”
“Break my heart once more, I dare you.”
“Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”
“This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”
“You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”
“I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”
“Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”
“She drowned and he lost his mind.”
“We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”
“You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”
“Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”
“You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”
“Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”
“Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”
“I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”
“Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”
“Kiss me quick and leave them be.”
“I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”
“Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”
“After the funeral, let’s surrender.”
“What made you think I cared for you?”
“It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”
“Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”
“Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”
“Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”
// GuYs, i haVE ofFiciaLly hAd toO muCh coFfeE. I never thought this day would come (or night/morning. It’s 2 am lmao), but here we are. I want to sleep, how are you my darlings? xox //
For any of you who are writing ‘across the pond’-here is a little guide I put together of some common differences between British and American English!
Beyond this, consider how these professions might vary depending on who the customers are – nobles, or lower class. Are they good at their job or just scraping by? Do they work with lots of other people or on their own? City or village?
For younger characters:
Apprentice to any of the above
Messenger/runner
Page/squire
Pickpocket
Shop assistant
Student
Looks after younger siblings
(Images all from Wikimedia Commons)
Also consider:
Candlemaker Ferryman Factor (looks after business for an employer in another city) Tiler Cutler Beekeeper Apothecary Interpreter Furrier Moneylender/Banker Winemaker Tinker (small trader who repairs stuff) Nightsoil collector Customs officer
Also a bonus for animal related professions: Fowler (supplies game birds for eating) Warrener (catches rabbits on your land for you to eat) Ostler (looks after your horses) Falconer (looks after your falcons) Cocker (looks after your fighting cocks)
I need more fantasy rpg in my life that isn’t d&d-style. I think it’s time for some Sword & Backpack.
100 Jobs for Fantasy Characters (that aren’t knight or peasant)
You wouldn’t think “sugar-baker”
(pastry-chef) gave much scope for adventure, but Switzerland had a great
reputation for skilled sugar-bakers so a a lot of medieval and Renaissance
sugar-bakers were Swiss.
They were freelance, travelling from place
to place and being hired to make Impressive Stuff for a banquet here or a feast
there, in that Duke’s castle or that Prince’s mansion.
They were also spies. There’s a famously
wrong line in the movie “The Third Man”:
“You know what the fellow said – in Italy,
for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and
bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the
Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred
years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
Not only did Switzerland not produce the
cuckoo clock (which came from the Black Forest in Germany) but its principal export during the middle ages and Renaissance was mercenary soldiers,
the most feared in Europe. They were called “the Dirty Swiss” because at a time
when a standard tactic was to outbid and buy the contract of an opponent’s mercenaries, a
contingent of Swiss mercs stayed bought until their job was done.
As for that job, a paraphrase of Kyle Reese’s
speech from “The Terminator” could go something like this:.
“Listen, and understand. Those Swiss are out
there. They have a contract. They’ll keep to that contract, so they can’t be
bargained with and they can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or
remorse, or fear. And so they don’t have to fight you again next week, next month,
next year, they’ll take no prisoners, and they absolutely will not stop, ever,
until you break and run or are all dead.”
So where did the sugar-bakers come into
this? They moved around the members of society who might want to hire
mercenaries, so they were in a position to see rivalries and enmities develop
and send back the information that, say, Baron A was about to take a slap at Count
B over a land dispute, and would welcome two companies of
pikemen and one of arquebusiers at a reasonable rate for two months.
They were also able to report back that Marquess
C, currently hiring a company of halberdiers, was throwing lavish parties to
impress the king but was behind on his fees and unlikely to get caught up, so
the expiry-through-non-payment clause of the halberdiers’ contract would come
into effect on the first day of June. Also that Sieur D, the Marquess’s rival, would
be more than happy to sign them up and might pay a large bonus if that signing-up happened while the mercs were still under Marquess C’s roof…
None of these noble gentry would be happy
to know that the man making éclairs in their kitchen was reporting back their
financial and political secrets to a foreign power, but would be happy to learn what else their
sugar-baker knew and about whom they knew it. And when they asked, it wouldn’t start
with “Please…”
The only
reason why the Swiss didn’t conquer large areas of Europe was a lack of unity
and trust. Outside Switzerland they were Swiss, but inside Switzerland their loyalty
was to their cantons – Zürich, Appenzell,
Uri, Bern, Basel etc. – and no fox leaves other foxes to mind their
henhouse while they’re away from home.
Are these a few story seeds, perhaps? If so, you’re welcome…
Author and doctor of clinical psychology Carolyn Kaufman has released a one-page body language cheat sheet of psychological “tells” (PDF link) fiction writers can use to dress their characters.
Because I realize all my characters do is look at each other and have their eyebrows shoot up. Sometimes they even lower their eyebrows too!
wrennette 